Because I can't even wait till hump day to share...
(1) Dressing room lighting and mirrors are set to sasquatch-mode.
(2) That swimsuit which was just "meh" in the store is actually pretty great (see?? you don't have cellulite on your forehead. chillax.)
(3) Murphy's Stout > Guinness (note: this keen observation is in no way related to 1 or 2. SHUSH.)
(4) When you delete a number from your phone, that phone will not just stand down and take it. No. That phone will question you. It will test you. It will annoy the shit out of you.
eg. You: [click "Delete Harry Dingleberry"]
Phone: "Are you SURE you want to delete Harry Dingleberry?"
You: "Yes, goddammit! This isn't a $1.29 purchase on itunes!!!!" [delete. with vigor.]
(5) An abandoned bong and ironing board on a walk around the neighborhood. Spent the rest of the walk imagining stories on how that came about. (Solution to a lover's quarrel? Not exactly an even exchange...)
(6) I'm a cat person. How did I discover this, you ask? I was staying with a friend. This friend has both a cat and a dog. At night, the cat mewed and softly pranced over to my bed, looking over her shoulder as if to say, "Hey there! I poop rainbows! Follow me to the land of nod!!!" then conveniently disappeared. My friend's dog, on the other hand, devoted her entire evening to guarding the entrance to the bathroom like a goddam emu guarding her eggs. Not quite up to par on this blogging thing yet, but I'll try to post a pic.
(a) Btw, the dog is small, so if I manage to post a pic, don't laugh. She barks like an ogre shouting "THOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!" Trust.
(b) In her defense, the dog was actually nice to me on the last day. But I think it was more because she saw my bags were packed and figured, screw it, you're leaving anyway. Let's just make nice.
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